But I do thank you for ruining J’s night tonight’s meeting. Sorry, help and ease a lot of the tension between Lily and I first and foremost didn’t have a glitch. I’m not part of the Matrix or any simulation, okay? I just literally… that was Shivers, so relax. I was very aware of what just happened. But with that being said though, let’s go back into this one in particular.
I want to know, is this what love is these days? That when you love somebody, you’re going to throw them under the bus? And then you’re going to insult them in front of your brother, make them look less than, belittle them, disrespect them? Like honestly, what’s wrong with this guy?
And then, to further add, help and ease a lot of the tension between Lily and I. He’s always been a peacemaker in my previous relationships, but I was not expecting throwing my brother into the fire. I call BS on that. You was hoping, you was wanting your brother to get involved in your relationship. You need him because he gives you the validation that you desire. It’s almost as if you’re a freaking Gemini, you know them ones, right there? You know, and like just can’t take any form of accountability, refuses to recognize where you are wrong in the situation. So, therefore, you need to have someone else coming into the picture to validate that your behavior is completely fine and you’ve done no wrongs whatsoever.
Like yo, H, does that behavior look or sound familiar to the star sign that I just said? Nonetheless though, the matter of fact is that he still needs his brother to be a part of all his relationships just to get through them.
Please don’t call yourself a man. Only refer to yourself as a boy. Mhmm. Ask about the finances, knowing he can’t work. He’s mentioned that you might have given him a little bit of… if Josh is poor or rich, what I care about is love, and he makes me feel unloved. At times, he even says some language that hurts me, so these are the problems I have.
Really paid a lot for him. You know what the crazy thing is, right before we even proceed here, the brother’s obviously media in, as he should not be. But in this part here, okay, he’s reading what Lily had to say, alright? And there’s a part… I’ll play it again. “I really paid a lot for him, but he still thinks I don’t love him.” He doesn’t want to know about how much you’re paying for him because he feels bad that he can’t contribute.
Saying that I seem to have spent a lot of money on something for him, but rather, I want to make him have this kind of gratitude. And so here’s the thing: this is why Josh likes his brother around. Because his brother isn’t going to hit the places that are the root issues. He’s not going to talk about the places where there are RO (relationship) issues or other issues that are just as important.
The matter of fact is, you are reading this woman telling you that your brother tells her he calls her mean things, or says things to her that are unkind. The first thing you should have done is held on a minute. Let me stop reading. What do you say to her that you think that’s okay? Are you going to do that moving forward? Do you need to apologize? That should have been boom! But instead of doing that, he proceeds to continue reading, and now onto another topic.
And now we’re on to the topic of gratitude. The fact that Lily just says, “Listen, the reason why I mention money is because I just want to make sure that he knows what I do for him.” Because I need to make sure he’s appreciating it.
And this is what the brother does instead. Honestly, his brother is just as bad as him. But let’s get into it. But rather, I want to make him have this kind of gratitude, find and Josh, of all that you do for him. Not to throw it in his face, but you want to know he’s grateful. Almost like your love languages are switched. The men usually show their love by buying things, and then we think that the women, if they don’t appreciate the things that we buy, we…
So he says, flipped. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t disagree with what he’s saying. You know, generally speaking, that is exactly how it’s going to… that’s how it has been and how it is still for many people, right? Where the man is the one who’s buying all this stuff and he has to make sure the woman that he’s doing these things for appreciates all of his efforts.
100%, but in this conversation context, was that needed? Some people may say yes, some people may say no. But I’m going to… it’s as simple as this for me. The way they both go about communicating it is unhealthy. If all she wants is a little bit of gratitude to make sure that he’s appreciating it, she needs to communicate. She needs to find a way to communicate in a healthy way, not a way that’s always involving her talking about the fact that she’s always paying for everything.
All sides do it in different ways. But also, at the same time, should Josh be doing more to make sure that she knows that he appreciates her efforts? Yes, absolutely. Because if he’s calling her names, that’s not healthy. That’s not healthy in any kind of way. And if he’s then telling her that he doesn’t believe that she loves him, knowing that she’s going to have a way to make sure that he’s fed, paid for, is absolutely crazy.
So I don’t blame her for feeling as if she needs more gratitude from him, because all he ever does is put her down. And that’s something else that she wrote down in that little statement there that the brother freaking read out. But the brother didn’t point that out neither. The fact that your brother Josh is always in a position where he feels it’s necessary to tell Lily that she doesn’t love him.
Then Josh had the audacity to talk about, “Yeah, obviously, you know, I’m the sensitive one out of us.” No, you’re just a fool. Like, let’s play the rest. Emotional stability just seems like the general rules are a little bit switched.
Listen, whatever the emotional side, the generals are switched or whatever, it doesn’t solve the issue. Just because you are voicing these things now, or the fact that they’re both switching the general side of whatever the society is supposed to be, doesn’t tell him anything. It doesn’t solve anything. Because the matter of the fact is, the solution is what needed to be spoken about, and no solution was spoken about.
And this is where the solution should have begun. The first thing, like I said before, that should have been addressed should have been the fact that he will do whatever he can to put her down. At any time he’s unhappy, he will say things to her that are unkind. At any time he’s unhappy, he will say things that also involve him saying that she doesn’t love him.
Okay, but here’s another thing with herself in particular: when it comes to communication, she’s admitted that communication isn’t her strongest point because English is not it. And I do believe that when she’s trying to talk… but, no, at the same time, despite her having a communication challenge, should she be sitting there every time talking about, “Oh, I spent this money, and I spent money, and I spent this money”? Hell, to her, no, she shouldn’t be doing that. Because the matter of the fact is this: if she feels that no matter how much money she spends and no matter what she does to look after him, it’s never going to be good enough for her to feel the love back or the gratitude, then she needs to leave him. It’s that freaking simple.
And if he feels that she’s always throwing it in his face, then he needs to leave as well. It’s that simple. But the fact is, they both stay together. So therefore, that communication needs to be strengthened, and it cannot be strengthened with the brother always getting involved. Because the brother isn’t there to help their relationship. The brother is there to give Josh the freaking validation that he needs to make himself feel good about the things that come out of his freaking mouth and the actions that he takes are probably incorrect.
Bro doesn’t help anything at all. Just enables Josh. Simple was that. That was… that’s going to be one of the most… that’s going to be some of the worst media ever seen in my life. It was all literally to favor Josh. None of it was ever neutral in any kind of way. That’s just the way I see it.
